Mystery Diagnosis

I was watching this show a couple months ago and there was a story that really distressed me. Here’s the scenario:

A guy, middle aged father, suddenly starts having bouts of paralysis. Some days he wakes up and can’t move his legs, other days he is fine. Since this show is about mysterious illnesses, of course, doctors are having a lot of trouble figuring out what to do.

The guy goes on disability leave from him work and sits around at home all day. But the money starts to run out and the guy is trying to figure out what to do. I was watching this with an able-bodied friend and I asked him, what does this guy do? Is he in construction? No, it turns out that he has a desk job that wouldn’t be effected at all by this new disability.

He reluctantly starts going to work using a wheelchair, since he has a family to provide for. He complains about how people treat him differently and look at him differently and how much he hates it.

Fair enough, most people don’t know anything about disability and if it strikes them suddenly, they don’t know what to do about it. The difference here is that this guy had a son with spina bifida who had used a wheelchair all his life.

Not once did the father take his own experiences and relate them to his son. All the father could talk about was how the wheelchair was embarrassing, etc.

Finally the doctors figure out what’s going on and get him fixed up. The guy starts talking about what a relief it is to get back to his life and how he wouldn’t want to live like that. He said “How can I be a good father and a good husband when I can’t walk?” “When you use a wheelchair, people look at you differently and that was hard for me” and when he got better, “Now I can have a normal life again.”

Again, no mention of his son! What a message to send, right? The son was mid-teenager, nice kid, well adjusted. But that seemed to be no thanks to his father’s out-dated stereotypes. I can’t tell you how sick it makes me to hear someone say “How can I be a good father and husband when I can’t walk?” What the _______ does that have to do with it? Seriously.

My friend didn’t see anything wrong here. He thought I was being a bit too sensitive. He said that the father was worried about providing for his family and taking care of them. Again, I think that just sends the message that his son will never have a family or be able to care for a family and that is simply ridiculous.

Now that he can walk, he can have a normal life. Good on him. His attitude disgusts me. Which is why I have to rant to you 🙂