How to Talk to a Person in a Wheelchair

Am I an expert in this topic?  Hell no.  But from my little bit of observation I have some pointers for those who freak out at the thought of having a conversation with a person sitting in a wheelchair.  It’s not hard.  They aren’t aliens.

1) Don’t panic.  The more you worry over saying the wrong thing, the more likely you are to sound stupid.

2) Before you say anything, think of or look at an able-bodied person of the same gender and imagine saying whatever it is you plan to say to that person.  Would you ask that person if his sex organs worked?  Would you tell her that her ability to get out of bed and go to a restaurant is an inspiration?  Would you ask him to recount the most emotionally difficult day of his life?  No?  Then don’t say it.

3) If you happen to stare, it’s natural.  Just move your gaze to the person’s eyes and give a friendly smile.

4) Even if you are a doctor, which you probably aren’t, you aren’t this person’s doctor.  Medial advice sounds ridiculous coming from you.  Trust me, she knows her options as far as treatment.

5) If you can, think of it like talking to someone wearing glasses.  You don’t get freaked out at the thought of talking to someone who wears glasses, but they are using an assistive device too.

6) It is unlikely that the person is mentally disabled and it is safest to assume that he has the same mental facilities as you (or, since I don’t know your mental facilities, assume average).

Try to behave like a normal human being because it isn’t this person’s job to educate you or be patient with your ignorance.  Chances are she will be because of the sheer volume of inappropriate people she encounters every day.  If you do screw up, try to laugh at yourself and acknowledge that you’re nervous.  That’s much better than pretending you aren’t.

Do I always get this right?  Of course not.  I’m slightly awkward socially, so I say strange and “off” things to everyone, unfortunately.  The first time I spoke to a guy in a wheelchair I started saying really stupid things about soup, but then I was nervous because I had a crush on him!  Not surprisingly, that relationship never happened.

If you use a wheelchair or other assistive devices, what are your tips?  What advice do you have?

Here’s another list of tips:

http://www.candoability.com.au/CDA/Blog/10-Tips-For-Talking-To-Someone-In-A-Wheelchair_115.html

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