Characters Acting Up
You know how writers say that their characters take on a life of their own and won’t always do what they say? That rarely happens to me. I build my plots around who the characters are and I usually am able to stick close to an outline.
However.
I’m having some real issues with one. Stewart’s father, Richard, is impossible to work with.
People want to see Stewart and his father reconcile. I know you guys want that! I want it too. I just cannot seem to get Richard to go along with this plan. In (W)hole I gave him the opportunity at Christmas and he just belittled Stewart the way he always does. I wrote a new story with the purpose of getting them to work out their differences and yet in Stewart’s Story, even though Stewart is helping to care for his father after a stroke, Richard is still unwilling to let go of his anger. They yell about the past at one another, but it doesn’t clear the air. I had to close that story with one kind of resolution but missed out on the deeper resolution I would have liked.
Every time I try to force Richard to make peace, he wiggles away from it.Â
You might be thinking, “Just write the words. You’re the author, he has to do what you say.” But when I try to write it, it always comes out stiff and unbelievable. You would look at it and say, “That’s not Richard. No way would he do that.”
I’m still plotting, though. Still trying to find a way to help them forgive the past. I’m thinking that the two men are just too stubborn and Leah and Ellen need to work together to make something happen.
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I find that interesting. I am definitely an author who has characters who “come to life” and tell ME what story to tell, rather than the other way around… I will try to get a general outline of a story/idea of the major plot points, but often times once I start writing, the story goes wherever they want it to go, regardless of whatever “plan” I may have laid out.
This blog post is interesting, because I was actually thinking of writing a post called “Don’t Rape Your Characters” about not forcing them into doing anything they don’t want to do… yeah, I know. 😉
Honestly, if your characters don’t want to reconcile, you can’t really force them. Maybe they don’t come to a full reconciliation, but rather something more muted. An understanding, maybe? Or maybe, Stewart realizes his father is never going to change, and they’ll never really be close, but realizes he can’t let that bother him. It’s the way things are, and all he can do is take charge of his own life.
As someone who has dealt with difficult parents, who has lived through the frustration of doing everything YOU can to make it right while still not being able to reconcile things, you really have to just let things go sometimes… The saying, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make ’em drink” is a cliche for a reason: it’s true. You can do only so much on your own. As I said to my father, a relationship involves TWO people. If both people aren’t interested and invested in making it work, then you can’t have a relationship. It’s impossible. One person can’t a relationship make.
There is no way that I could force Richard to do anything he doesn’t want to do! Man, he is so stubborn and difficult. lol. I have tried. Oh, how I have tried. I hope that someday he and his son will come to some kind of peace, but I really can’t force it.