Romantic Friday Writers: Voice
http://fridaynightwriters.blogspot.com/ This blog has a challenge for writers of romance/love stories to write 400 words on a theme each Friday. Â The theme this week is “Voice” and I’m very excited to present my entry. Â I think I have just the right thing for it! Â A bit light on the romance, though. Â There’s always something!
This is close to the end of a short story I’m working on for Dev Dreams: Volume Two (sign up for email notification on my front page and I will let you know when it is out). Â It will be called Dylan Sinclair. Â Word count= 400 exactly!
It’s a story about a pair of brothers.  Dylan is passionate about making it in the music industry with his great voice, but he is disabled and finds it difficult to get people to see past that.  His brother, David, is tone deaf, but has the prefect look. They team up with a music producer to fool the world into thinking David is the singer.  As time goes on and the life of a pop idol gets more and more crazy, Dylan becomes fed up with not having credit for his work.  David is reluctant to give up the adoration and admit that actually his brother is the one singing.  Spurred on by a skeptical female reporter that Dylan has romantic interest in, Dylan tricks David into going out to a karaoke bar where every one is excited to hear the famous David Sinclair perform…
***
Even in the dusky lighting, people began to whisper and poke each other, to point out that David Sinclair had just walked in. David looked at his brother and Dylan gave a little shrug, as if to suggest that he hadn’t known it was a karaoke bar.
David, Dylan, and Steph barely found a table before the management was coming over to welcome the big celebrity and ask him to perform. David tried to act modest, saying he couldn’t possibly sing, but the crowd wanted him. Dylan caught Steph’s eye and smirked for a moment. She would realize soon that he was telling the truth: despite his incredible record sales, David Sinclair could not sing.
David stood again and there were cheers and scattered clapping. The woman currently singing quickly stopped, the song going on without her a moment, then cutting out suddenly. She held the microphone out to David as he walked up the stairs to the stage, touched his hand and squealed.
He selected a song and stood in front of the bar with a modest grin on his face. In this moment, Dylan knew his brother was hoping that maybe he wasn’t as bad as he remembered, or maybe he had gotten better over the last few years faking.
When he started singing people were cheering so loudly no one could hear him, but as they settled down the broken voice became audible. They looked around at one another, confused. They tried to laugh, to tell their companions that David Sinclair was pulling one over on them.
But there was sincerity on David’s face. His effort was clear and it was failing.
When the song finished, the room was silent. Dylan could hear his brother’s ragged breath as David stood, sweat across his brow, confused himself, not knowing what to do.
Dylan pulled out from behind the table and rolled forward to the edge of the stage, stopping when his knees touched the platform. David looked down at him, sighed, gave a little nod, and handed the microphone to him, then walked to the booth to select the song for his brother.
In his wheelchair, his back to the people, Dylan looked up at the inaccessible stage and began to sing.
The room remained hushed, but now there was a sizzling, electic quality to the air. Each individual person was frozen in shock. Steph most of all.
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Loved the originality in this! To be showed up by your own brother! Well, obviously, it’s hard to take the back seat all the time and sometimes, taking credit means the world! Satisfying piece indeed.
Very hard to be in someone else’s shadow when you know that you are the one who has done all of the work. I feel sad for David because once the myth is shattered what does he have left…
Enjoyed this, thank you.
I hadn’t really thought about what will happen to David after this. Good point. I don’t have a clear ending yet.
Love this story, and it’s especially poignant that Dylan couldn’t even get onto the stage. However – and actually this makes me like him more – it wasn’t very nice of Dylan to publicly expose his brother like that. They both entered the charade willingly, they should both agree to end it. So there’s some fault on both sides.
And I *like* that – I really love that in your work you are portraying those in wheelchairs as actual human beings – complete with strengths and weaknesses. I think sometimes people see a wheelchair or crutches and assume the person using it is a) stupid, b) incapable, or c) saintly, and s/he is probably none of the above. (Or may well be one or all of those things. Just like everybody else.)
Can you tell you sucked me in and I am so there with these guys?
Yay! The brothers do have a fight about it earlier where Dylan asks him to nicely let go and he refuses, so Dylan turns to underhanded tactics! You’re right, it’s so important to me that my disabled characters be fully formed human beings, so I hope that I’m accomplishing that 🙂
Hi,
Neat twist of fate! Nicely executed, too. But, implied love interest between David and Steph is not enough to impart sense of romance between them.
However, conflict could arise for her in that she’d fallen in love with Dylan’s voice believing it to be David’s. Now the truth is out, how does she feel re Dylan in a wheelchair: is voice the one she loves? 😉
You’re right, the romance part doesn’t come out well in this clip. The scene before this and a few before that have a lot more of a love triangle feel.
Lovely story. I am sure that this sort of thing happens in real life all the time. It is a great theme.
Have you seen the movie “Singing in the Rain”? It is a humorous look at Hollywood during the transition from silent movies to talkies. There is a sub-plot where a beautiful silent film star with a horrible voice and bad speech is dubbed by another woman’s better speaking and singing voice. The final scene is set at the first public viewing of the film where the beautiful film star insists upon speaking to the public, which demand her to sing rather than talk. In a panic she asks what to do and the woman who has been her voice stands behind a curtain while she mimes the words. But the producer, director and leading-man put the curtain strings revealing the woman whose voice was really heard.
In reality, this was not what happened. Many careers were crushed in this transition.
I don’t know if you were inspired by “Singing in the Rain”. This is a theme that is prevalent in everyday life everywhere. You have updated and used it well to show the problems of not being seen or heard because you sit in a wheelchair.
I love the happy end.
Best wishes,
Anna
Anna’s Romantic Friday No 13 – ‘Voices’
Would you like to read a story where I use the song “Singing in the Rain”? Please go to:
Anna’s SC-53-Sanna finds her voice
Thank you! Actually, I’ve never seen Singing in the Rain. I know it’s a classic and I really ought to see it, but somehow I’ve never gotten around to it and I don’t even know anything at all about the plot either!
This is an excellent piece of writing.
I don’t agree with Dylan’s underhandedness, but sadly stuff like that happens all the time.
You did a great job of highlighting the prejudices against Dylan. A perfect case of never judging a book by its cover (so to speak)…something we’re all guilty of.
Awesome job!
I enjoyed your scene immensely! You crafted the brothers well. I identified with their strong emotions. Also, i liked the way you used the reactions of the crowd to mirror the array of emotions. Nicely done!
This is certainly a unique excerpt but as Anna’s Adornments points out, there is really nothing new under the sun (or the rain, ha ha.) What a great plotline. I know people have commented about Dylan’s underhandedness, but isn’t that life? Everyone reacts to situations and not everyone understands. Pump up the romance and you have a great entry for Voices. Voices was certainly the focus of your excerpt. Well done. And I like how you created the atmosphere in the crowd, showing the reactions to the different song renditions.
Denise
Good use of voice – literally 🙂 That was quite a story scene. Lots of tension and expectation. Well done.
………..dhole
Just letting you know Ruth that sometimes Roland’s link does that. You just click on Writing in the Crosshairs on the ‘does not exist’ link and you’re there!
Denise
Oh okay! Thank you!
This is a really unique plot idea! I like that the microphone was simply handed over; after all, Dylan could very well have marshalled the crowd and turned it into a booing, hissing, heckling nightmare for his brother. Instead, both characters maintained their dignity. Very nice.
BTW, Denise, thx for the tip on accessing Roland’s page – I couldn’t get through either.
Your characters are unique and this story is very creative, with the theme on voices.
Though the romantic interest was not highlighted, the plot and tension are interesting between the brothers.
Thanks for sharing this…
Hi Ruth,
What a way to turn the tables. Good for Dylan. This is an engaging story and i enjoyed it. An original take on voices.
Well written.
Cheers,
Kiru
Thanks to everyone for the great comments! This gives me so much to think about as I further write and develop this story. It’s so helpful to get feedback!
I liked how the reader feels how Dylan is isolated at not being able to get onto the stage, yet all eyes are on him as he commands the room with his singing. I agree with Denise and Francince, though that it needs more romance to fit with the FRW theme.